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Role Models
My mum, my sister, my aunt, Joy Nash, Kate Harding, Marianne Kirby, the Dalai Lama, Kevin Smith, Coco Chanel, Oscar De La Renta, Lesley Kinzel, Dr Samantha Thomas, Marilyn Wann, and all of the contributors on AoF. There are more people who are my role models. Everyone is a role model in one way or another, even if it's a role model of what not to do.
Distinguishing Characteristics
Though it's fading the older I get, I tend to be incredibly bubbly. Obnoxiously so. I'm also an extreme narcissist. I'm weary of a world that discriminates, and the more hatred I see the more angry it makes me. I do not like this anger, and want to channel it into something constructive - one of the reasons I write here at the Axis. I have a penchant for hats, fashion, and frivolity. Wherever there is cake, I will be there.
Fashion Style
I like fairly classic styles with a twist of bohemian depending on my mood. I love classic prada and chanel, but with guess, fossil and moschino mixed in. It's weird, if i'm honest. But it's me. I also believe fats deserve the same fashion choices that smaller people get. We have the right to off the rack clothing choices. We have just as many dollars as thinner people.

Posts by Janey:

Fat Eats.

Four or so months ago I became a vegetarian. This was because I thought it was hypocritical for me to eat meat; if I can’t actually deal with seeing an animal slaughtered, why should I be eating them? I don’t think this is the right viewpoint for everyone, and I would never -ever- lecture a person about what they eat. Like everything what people eat is a personal choice.

Previously I have ranted about Jamie Oliver and his quest to end fat people. I am being hyperbolic when I say that; I think Jamie Oliver’s intentions are actually not that bad. He’s trying to educate people about what food is good for your health. Now I don’t necessarily think he’s going about it in the right way (shock tactics and body shaming suck, yo) but I do recognise he’s trying to make the world a better place. (And by better I do not mean thinner.) His methods are in a similar vein to Michelle Obama’s. She is trying to get people moving and eating more healthfully and that’s a fantastic goal. Unfortunately she’s doing it by creating the action to end childhood obesity. All this kind of initiative does is shame kids (and adults) who are obese. And while I’m sure that wasn’t her intention, the fact of the matter is that people are going to take a volatile topic such as fat and skew the information to whatever they think is right. Fat kids will continue to be bullied simply for being fat; fat adults will associate the way they look with something bad – thus promoting negative body image. This in turn (however accidentally) promotes an industry that teaches people the way the way you look has direct correlation to your health and attractiveness, so you should change that at any cost.

It’s all too easy to blame particular groups for the world’s woes when really we should be tackling deeper problems; ones that investigate WHY people are the way they are. Often when I bring facts up to people who know little about the size acceptance movement, they say that the idea just gives fat people an “easy out” or an excuse to be lazy. That people are fat because they don’t do enough exercise and they eat like shit. After all, it’s just “calories in, calories out” right? First off, I hate it when people have said that to me, and be prepared to be verbally bitchslapped if you do. Secondly, saying something like that brings a complex societal issue with many different causes down to a few cliche catchphrases that aren’t true for every person. For some people it might be calories in calories out, but not for everyone. And even if that IS the case, what right does anyone have in making a judgement over how a person eats or exercises? Even if you look at it from a health perspective instead of a size outlook, what right does anyone have to comment on how my health should be? It’s my body and my choice. As long as I am not hurting anyone else, I will always feel this way. And frankly, if people were really concerned about health and not weight, then they would preach to everyone equally. I have always eaten more healthfully than my sister who is a size six – why isn’t anyone lecturing her about the benefits of eating more fruit and vegies instead of meringues and packets of nerds?

One of the tactics Jamie Oliver always tries to use is showing that it takes less time to cook a good healthy meal his way than it is to stick something in the microwave. By doing this, he’s skirting the one of the actual issues. People don’t cook full meals from scratch because it might require using a food processor/frying pan/mixmaster/chopping board, and all of those things require cleanup after use. Microwave meals and/or fast food can usually be eaten straight out of their packages. For convenience’s sake I know what I’d choose. Convenience foods are booming because people have less time and willingness to spend on cooking. I totally get it. I don’t agree with it, but I get it!

Another issue I struggle with is that I don’t think it’s anyone’s business on what I eat or how much I exercise. I think as long as a person is educated about what they are eating, then they should be able to eat anything they like. I mean, I have a penchant for a good butter chicken. Now I don’t use chicken these days, but it’s still gt a buttload of butter and cream in it, and I recognise this isn’t going to be the best thing for my health. I know that having too much of it is going to end up raising my cholesterol levels, and heart problems run in my family. I am aware of the health issues associated with eating the way I sometimes do, but in the end it comes down to it being my choice. I don’t insist that anyone else eat or think the way I do, and so I don’t think it’s anyone’s business but my own. I’m well educated on what may happen to my body if I eat the foods I do. I am aware that I probably wont live until I’m 100 years old. But that’s okay for me. I’m not suicidal either – I just want to eat what my body wants without being shamed by society.


To eat or not to eat – that is the question! Leave your thoughts about this topic in the comments below.


You are worthy. You are loved. You are beautiful.

I have a friend who hates the way he looks. He hates that he is fat. He thinks women aren’t attracted to him sexually because he is short and fat. He sees men in relationships who are thinner or taller or more muscular and he thinks the fault is his. That he needs to change physically. He thinks that women will want to date him if he is thinner. Every time I see him he talks about being lonely, and if he loses the weight then someone might finally want to be with him. I wish I could help him see his worth. I write this entry for him.

First off, I hate that we live in a society which devalues people who don’t fit the cultural ideal of attractive. Fuck that attractive, seriously. A person’s worth should not be judged on what they look like. All people are intrinsically worthy whether they are fat, thin, short, tall, young, old, black, white, brown, yellow, or fucking polkadot. Or anything else! You are worthy of love just as you are. You are beautiful just as you are. You do not deserve to be judged by yourself or others because you are better than that. You are worth more than that.

If you think you should lose weight so you can date more people, you should be asking yourself if those people are really worth dating. If they only want to get to know you when you are thinner then they do not deserve the brilliance that is you. They don’t deserve you – it’s not the other way around if they are judging you on how you look. If they can’t see how fucking beautiful you are, then hold out for better because you deserve it. You deserve the best. You deserve exactly who and what you want. You are worth more than your body, even though your body is more beautiful than I could ever convey.

Losing weight isn’t going to make you any more attractive. It’ll just to make you thinner. Real attraction comes from loving who you are, as you are. Real beauty comes from within.

Cosmo says you’re fat. Well I aint down with that. (Actually, I am! You rock!)

I am fat. I am relatively unhealthy. I do not exercise more than the occasional Zumba dance, and that’s because I find it fun and not exercise! I eat what I want when I want and I am happy being this way. Recently I have been unwell, and most likely will be for the next few months due to an extended convalescence. It sucks, but I have only just realised that having this extended down time has sent me into a shame spiral about my lifestyle.

I have noticed on more than one blog that being a “good fat” comes with a disclaimer of the “health at every size” mantra, which includes looking after your body by exercising and eating intuitively regardless of how you look. Now I love the concept of Health at Every Size, even if I don’t particularly follow it past intuitive eating. It’s important for me to recognise that people can be their own versions of healthy and happy whether they are a size zero or a size fifty. It’s a great idea that is being promoted, but it’s also frustrating when “bad fats” are ganged up for not following that lifestyle to the letter.

What I think is important to remember is this: if you are fat, unhealthy, eat what you want and never exercise then that doesn’t make you a bad person. You are you and that is just that. Being unhealthy and being fat are not synonymous but even if they were? It deserves no moral judgement. You may be fat. Society doesn’t want you to know this, but that’s a morally neutral place to be. It’s the same as having curly hair, or large feet. There is no such thing as a good fat person or a bad fat person any more than there are good thin people or bad thin people. We are individuals and should determine what is right for us and nobody else. The way someone looks should not determine what we think of them because that’s no better than discriminating against someone because of the colour of their skin, or their gender, or their religion. 

If someone is trying to tell you that you should look, think or act a certain way then try and discover their motives. Ask them why they think it’s important and really listen to their reasoning. Tell them the reasons for your lifestyle choices, regardless of what they are. And if they use the “we’re concerned for your health” comment, i suggest calmly stating that you are in control of your body and can do what you want with it. Be confident in your choice, but not defensive – you know what is right for you, and calmly stating that will help them see that you are in control. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your decisions, as they are yours and yours alone. Unless you are incapable of making those decisions for yourself, you have a right to choose your life.  You are the only person who knows what is right for you!


These are all just my opinions, obviously. What do you think? – potential fatshion source

In the vast amount of time I spend on the internet (it’s sickening, really) I came across a website called Style Shake which allows you to somewhat design and create your own tops, bottoms, and dresses. Users can choose from UK sizes 6-18, with the ability to customise your measurements exactly with a made to measure option for an $8 fee.

It’s a fantastic concept in my opinion, and I do hope they continue by expanding size and style ranges. Yesterday I sent them a message asking if they went above size 18, and yes they do! All their patterns are digital and to go larger than that they would have to make a manual pattern, which would cost 20 pounds extra. I don’t know what this involves so I can’t really say if it’s a fair price or not, but I really like that there’s a company that doesn’t automatically exclude or not think of larger fats. Hopefully eventually they will have larger plus digital patterns so I wouldn’t have to pay that extra – 20 pounds is a lot of cash when you convert it to australian monies!

I’ve heard from several sources that the quality of their pieces is very high. For me I would prefer fewer quality pieces that last for years as opposed to lots of things that will go meh after several wears, but I do understand that’s more personal choice and finances than anything else. I’ve played around a bit with their style designer, and it’s pretty neat. I love the idea of being able to specifically get something for my style, my body and my taste. The thing about fashion is that it’s different for everyone – it’d be lovely to customise to exactly what I like, yaknow? That being said, I don’t know if my wallet can ever justify the expense… hrm.

So readers, would you pay the extra? Have you had any experience with this company before? Wanna buy me an outfit? Leave a comment below!

Inspiration (or, why Lil’ Kim is my confidence hero.)

I have been quite unwell recently, and have subsequently spent a large chunk of my time watching gloriously bad trash television. E! and the Style Network have become an unusual crutch in my down time. And when I say crutch, I mean hopeless addiction that may never be cured. Because I don’t currently have the mental capacity for anything too thought-provoking, I have seen both of these channels as beacons of entertainment. It’s basically makeover shows and celebrity happenings, as far as I can tell. Chewing gum for the mind most definitely. That being said, I did learn something today.

I was watching a recap of Joan Rivers bashing celebrities for what they wear. Joan being Joan, I can’t hate her – she’s caustic and cynical and downright mean sometimes, but there’s something about her i find truly endearing. It made me think, though. How often do I go out and mentally note other people’s clothing/demeanour? I know that I’ve done it before. I remember thinking “Oh no, she should NOT be wearing that!” as someone walked by me at the shops once.

And now it hits me how much this attitude SUCKS. What right do I (or anyone for that matter) have on saying what a person should or should not be wearing? Why are fashion “rules” so deeply ingrained in me?  Have I just been watching too much Trinny and Susannah? Is society to blame? Family? The media? Am *i* to blame?



Lil’ Kim has graced many a “worst dressed” list during her years as a celebrity. And I don’t think I’d ever wear an ensemble like the one above, but fuckdammit! She should be commended for having the courage to wear what she wants, and not what someone told her to wear. (If that’s the case, which let’s assume it is for the sake of this argument.) It’s fucking ridiculous to judge anyone based on what they’re wearing – if I do that then I’m no better than someone judging me because I’m fat.

So tell me, readers – what’s your opinion? Have you ever judged someone based on what they’re wearing? And are celebrities asking for it, since they are the ones who put themselves in the limelight? What about people who post their own pictures on a blog? Leave your thoughts below.

Ah, parents.

The other day my dad commented to me about how if i get any bigger, others might start to orbit around me. I assume he was saying this in a negative way (ie YOU ARE AS BIG AS THE PLANET, FATTY FAT FAT) but I actually took it as a compliment.  You see, I’m the sun. I shine so brightly that I blind people with my radiance. I’m fat AND beautiful, and people want to be around me because I don’t need to bring others down to give myself confidence. I am the sun, and no douchenugget is going to take away my shine, fuckdammit.


*Oh, and just so you all aren’t hating on my dad: He’s not an intentional bastard, he’s just old and a little bit insane, and very self-involved. He speaks before thinking, but has a heart of gold in there somewhere. It just needs to be dug up, as it’s currently under some big piles of shit.

Discrimination and being fat.

Finding a job is my main priority at the moment.  I am moving overseas in a year and a half, and need cashmonies so I can start my life there in a financially stable way. With that in mind, I have applied for sixty-two jobs since getting back on the 30th of January.  That’s a fuckload of selection criteria, my friends. After considering making some sort of artwork with the twelve rejection letters I have thus far received, I have landed myself a job interview on Friday next week. I really really -really- want this job, like you wouldn’t believe. Ninety nine percent of my brain is filled with “I’m awesome! My brain has great things to offer and I am loyal and hardworking and freakin great. You’re gonna be so lucky to get meeee!”

It’s that other one percent that is the real problem. Let’s face it: society discriminates against the obese. The incident regarding Kevin Smith and Southwest Airlines’ shitty treatment has enlightened a lot of previously ignorant people to this fact. But it’s not enough.  I don’t know when it will be enough. When fats are given the same treatment as anyone else, I suppose.  

I’m just sick of magazines that are plastered with “Lose five kilograms in one week!” and fashion labels that consider size twelve a “plus size”.  When society ingrains this kind of thinking in us from such an early age, how are we supposed to change it?  I feel so demoralised sometimes when it’s assumed that fats don’t deserve to be treated decently. Because we “brought it upon ourselves.” Fuckers. I feel agitated when I see a fifty to one ratio of haters to understanding people. I don’t know how to stop this ignorant behaviour, especially when it’s been ingrained from such an early age in many people. It feels as though I am not doing enough. And I am often met with criticism for believing in Fat Acceptance, because “it’s just a way to justify being fat and lazy and eating like crap.” And I sometimes honestly don’t know how to come back at people who say such things. I can point them in the direction of studies, personal accounts, and numerous blogs around the net, but to them I’m always that fat lady with a sinister agenda to convert us all to being sloths. My bias as a fat woman takes away any credibility to them. My agenda to make children eat six cakes a day shines through.

I’m not a person with some sinister agenda, I promise.  What I want (and deserve) is to not be judged, restricted or hurt simply because of the way I look.  Basically, I just wanted to be treated like a human being. Because anything else is discrimination, and just fucking sucks. It’s like someone said, if a thin person had complained about airline seats then the seats would be called too small. If a fat person complains, it’s because they’re huge tubs-o-lard and need to eat less and lose weight.  It’s fucking bullshit, people.

While I am at this rant, I’m sick of everyone’s definition of what a “Real Woman” is.  What the fuck, man! Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and sometimes even genders. Real women have curves. Real women don’t have curves.  Real women are skinny, fat, tall, short, have small boobs, big boobs, fat upper pubic areas, hairy toes, long necks, and bad posture. Or not! They can be anything. You see here’s the real thing; We are all different: AND THAT IS OKAY.

I’m a little nervous about this job interview, because I’m afraid someone will overlook how awesome I am for the job because they are judging me based on my appearance. I will be well put together, wearing my investment piece clothing (oh black suit on sale at Myer, how I love you.). But I still (justifiably) fear that people will consider me lazy, slovenly, and/or disgusting because of the way I look.  And it happens to lots of fats. Every day. I know that logically I’ll be fine in the interview; the worst thing that could happen is that I don’t get the job, but I come out with more interview experience.  But that irrational fear remains, somewhat.

How can we (as individuals, as groups, and as a FA community) work towards changing preconceived notions of fat people? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Jamie Oliver leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Someone on my twitter feed posted the link to Jamie Oliver’s talk about how it’s important to for people to learn about foods they are cooking and eating, and to pass that on to any spawn they might have. I totally agree with this; it’s important to be informed and listen to what your body needs.

What stopped me from listening to the entire talk was the constant peppering of OBESITY IS SO BAD, OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE EARLY AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.

…. I become really really frustrated with this kind of talk.  There is an obsession with weight in today’s society that is so distinctly BEYOND one’s health, and it’s so very ingrained that I don’t believe that most people realise they are even obsessed with it. It’s so easy to talk about the “obesity epidemic” but some people have talked about it with me as though I am not one of the chunky brigade. When i point out that “hey, I’m fat. And that’s okay!” there are wild flayings of “OH NO NOT YOU, YOU’RE NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.”

Who are these people you are talking about then?  And more importantly, what gives a person the right to talk about someone else in such a way? What happened to compassion for others? Kindness towards anyone regardless of their appearance? Am i just missing a part of the human psyche that thinks it’s okay to blatantly hate on the way someone else looks? Perhaps as a fat girl (being on the other side of the judgement conundrum) I am just not looking at it from a lot of points of view. Then again i’ve known some pretty bitchy fats so I really don’t think that’s the case – horrible people come in all shapes and sizes too.

I don’t know.  I just honestly wish that celebrities like Jamie Oliver would do a bit more research before blatantly hating on us fats.  Why can’t we be educated about food without the whole shaming thing? Sometimes I wonder if Jamie Oliver plans to come out with some hideous sort of meal replacement plan, and that’s why he’s doing this. SIGH.



Hullaballoons – how should fatshion be designed?

Flattering. Fashionable. Stylish.

It has been said more than once that fatshion is none of those things. Yeah, sure, the range of clothing in Australia (and many places internationally) has really improved over the past ten years – but is it where it needs to be? Hell no.  I remember being in high school and wearing t-shirts and jeans EVERYWHERE because my fashion choices were so limited.  And now? I have more clothing than I do closet space.  (Seriously, it’s an addiction.  i do believe i might be overcompensating for my lack of fashion choices when i was younger.)

But there is still a big hullaballoo (wow, my spellcheck recognises hullaballoo as a word, neat) about what should actually be produced in the world of fatshion. Some say that we should have the same styles available to us as those in straight sizes – “thin” designs sized up to a plus size. Others say that this technique isn’t going to work, and that designers should be working specifically with fats from the beginning, because what looks good on a six will not look good on a twenty-six.

What do I think?  As per usual, I am a little unsure about the whole thing.  I love the idea that I can wear exactly the same clothes as my thinner counterparts – the Jane Lamerton brand (Myer) actually does size their straight sized clothing up to plus. I’ve bought several of their dresses that have been sized up. But usually things seem a little wonky with regards to how they have sized up. For example, I bought an awesome swing coat for my mum for christmas and then saw it in my size and freaked out.  I mean, awesome, right?  I tried it on (though my mum forbade me as she didn’t want to have a matchymatchy mother daughter thing going on) and it looked HORRIBLE.  Their proportions had been sized up in such an unusual way; as though only certain body parts got bigger (breasts) while others stayed the same (arms).   It was not a great look on me, that’s for sure. Was this just because my proportions didn’t work with the company’s fit model?  Maybe. Ignorance on the company’s behalf?  You betcha. 

I’m torn.  I want to wear cute clothes. I want to have the same fashion rights as my smaller counterparts.  But I want them to fit properly. And I want to wear clothing that makes me feel fantastic; not just pieces that “hide” my rolls with garish polyester prints (TS14+, i am looking at you!)

A while ago a friend said to me that it isn’t feasible for plus clothing to fit people properly, because fat sits on everyone differently and no two bodies are alike. According to them, that’s why there are so many “loose” styles in fatshion. But aren’t different body types still an issue for straight sizes?  I mean, that’s where the whole Trinny and Susannah “dress for your shape not your size” thing came from.

Well, fat-o-sphere? If you were a designer, what would you do? And is there fashion you want that isn’t currently available in your size?  Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Fat Myths: DEBUNKED. (Laziness Edition)

So a thing that is often impressed on me (and other fats I know) is that we could just lose all the weight if we simply MOVED AROUND more.  Because we are fat, we are also all apparently lazy. 

Hey, newsflash ignorant people: being fat does not cause one to be lazy. Being lazy causes one to be lazy. Being lazy does not necessarily cause a person to be fat, either. It differs from person to person, but regardless? It’s none of your fucking business. And being lazy? Not such a bad thing yaknow. I love being lazy – it’s one of my main goals in life.  People always say it to me as though i’m killing kittens, jebus.  I just like lounging about. I shouldn’t have to justify that because it’s not societally accepted.

As with everything, you have no right to impose your opinions about anyone purely because theirs aren’t the same as your own. 

More fat myths to debunk in the future.

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