Thursday, July 22nd, 2010
I am fat. (You may have already guessed this one, heh.) But I also have small boobs. Like, A/B Cup. It’s really annoying. As my friend Kylie put it, manufacturers automatically assume that as your band size goes up so must your boob size.
Note to bra makers: THIS ISN’T TRUE FOR EVERYONE.
They simply do not make cute bras in my size. They barely make ANY bras in my size. In fact, there is ONE store in Brisbane that carries a total of ONE bra that will actually fit me properly. And it’s $79, and both the straps broke within four months. And the order I made to the internet company that sells my size in bras has been delayed until September. SEPTEMBER. Sometimes I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when they wont let her shop. I HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, WHY WONT YOU LET ME SPEND IT RETAILERS.
It is so infuriating, as I need just as much support as the next bra-wearing person. I mean, when I’m powerwalking on the treadmill I want some support. I want clothing that fits properly, and that doesn’t continually shift because i’m not wearing properly fitted undergarments. I am nearly in tears as I write this because all I fucking want is a bra that fits me properly.
I am in the process of writing a very strongly worded letter to Hestia (which supposedly Holds Every Size Tit In Australia), Berlei, Bonds, and any other bra manufacturer I can think of. This letter will ask them why they don’t cater to those who are larger, but with small boobs. Honestly though? I’m way too angrily passionate about this right now to word it coherently. I needed somewhere to gripe, and surely I’m not the only one here who has a large band size but smaller boobs! So if you can leave a comment that commiserates/sympathizes/tells me how to word these letters, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.
Friday, June 11th, 2010
I have a friend who hates the way he looks. He hates that he is fat. He thinks women aren’t attracted to him sexually because he is short and fat. He sees men in relationships who are thinner or taller or more muscular and he thinks the fault is his. That he needs to change physically. He thinks that women will want to date him if he is thinner. Every time I see him he talks about being lonely, and if he loses the weight then someone might finally want to be with him. I wish I could help him see his worth. I write this entry for him.
First off, I hate that we live in a society which devalues people who don’t fit the cultural ideal of attractive. Fuck that attractive, seriously. A person’s worth should not be judged on what they look like. All people are intrinsically worthy whether they are fat, thin, short, tall, young, old, black, white, brown, yellow, or fucking polkadot. Or anything else! You are worthy of love just as you are. You are beautiful just as you are. You do not deserve to be judged by yourself or others because you are better than that. You are worth more than that.
If you think you should lose weight so you can date more people, you should be asking yourself if those people are really worth dating. If they only want to get to know you when you are thinner then they do not deserve the brilliance that is you. They don’t deserve you – it’s not the other way around if they are judging you on how you look. If they can’t see how fucking beautiful you are, then hold out for better because you deserve it. You deserve the best. You deserve exactly who and what you want. You are worth more than your body, even though your body is more beautiful than I could ever convey.
Losing weight isn’t going to make you any more attractive. It’ll just to make you thinner. Real attraction comes from loving who you are, as you are. Real beauty comes from within.