Friday, June 11th, 2010
I have a friend who hates the way he looks. He hates that he is fat. He thinks women aren’t attracted to him sexually because he is short and fat. He sees men in relationships who are thinner or taller or more muscular and he thinks the fault is his. That he needs to change physically. He thinks that women will want to date him if he is thinner. Every time I see him he talks about being lonely, and if he loses the weight then someone might finally want to be with him. I wish I could help him see his worth. I write this entry for him.
First off, I hate that we live in a society which devalues people who don’t fit the cultural ideal of attractive. Fuck that attractive, seriously. A person’s worth should not be judged on what they look like. All people are intrinsically worthy whether they are fat, thin, short, tall, young, old, black, white, brown, yellow, or fucking polkadot. Or anything else! You are worthy of love just as you are. You are beautiful just as you are. You do not deserve to be judged by yourself or others because you are better than that. You are worth more than that.
If you think you should lose weight so you can date more people, you should be asking yourself if those people are really worth dating. If they only want to get to know you when you are thinner then they do not deserve the brilliance that is you. They don’t deserve you – it’s not the other way around if they are judging you on how you look. If they can’t see how fucking beautiful you are, then hold out for better because you deserve it. You deserve the best. You deserve exactly who and what you want. You are worth more than your body, even though your body is more beautiful than I could ever convey.
Losing weight isn’t going to make you any more attractive. It’ll just to make you thinner. Real attraction comes from loving who you are, as you are. Real beauty comes from within.
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
Today is the day to celebrate being in love with yourself and your dearest ones! I just found this awesome new flickr pool called “Here come the Fat Brides” and I’m very pleased to see that there are heaps of beautiful fat brides who’ve already contributed.
In the same vein, Lesley from fatshionista.com has curated a most adorable Museum of Fat Love. She had initially put the idea out there as an antidote to the US series “More to Love”. Not having seen the series, I’ll have to take it from Lesley that it’s rather depressing. The idea of the Museum of Fat Love is to make visible the notion that fat people can meet, fall in love, and have successful and beautiful relationships. Being in a fat couple myself, I can only support that notion! (Totes biased, yo.)
If you’re part of a fat relationship, do submit a photo and your story to Lesley!