Thursday, July 22nd, 2010
I am fat. (You may have already guessed this one, heh.) But I also have small boobs. Like, A/B Cup. It’s really annoying. As my friend Kylie put it, manufacturers automatically assume that as your band size goes up so must your boob size.
Note to bra makers: THIS ISN’T TRUE FOR EVERYONE.
They simply do not make cute bras in my size. They barely make ANY bras in my size. In fact, there is ONE store in Brisbane that carries a total of ONE bra that will actually fit me properly. And it’s $79, and both the straps broke within four months. And the order I made to the internet company that sells my size in bras has been delayed until September. SEPTEMBER. Sometimes I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when they wont let her shop. I HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, WHY WONT YOU LET ME SPEND IT RETAILERS.
It is so infuriating, as I need just as much support as the next bra-wearing person. I mean, when I’m powerwalking on the treadmill I want some support. I want clothing that fits properly, and that doesn’t continually shift because i’m not wearing properly fitted undergarments. I am nearly in tears as I write this because all I fucking want is a bra that fits me properly.
I am in the process of writing a very strongly worded letter to Hestia (which supposedly Holds Every Size Tit In Australia), Berlei, Bonds, and any other bra manufacturer I can think of. This letter will ask them why they don’t cater to those who are larger, but with small boobs. Honestly though? I’m way too angrily passionate about this right now to word it coherently. I needed somewhere to gripe, and surely I’m not the only one here who has a large band size but smaller boobs! So if you can leave a comment that commiserates/sympathizes/tells me how to word these letters, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.
Friday, February 19th, 2010
Finding a job is my main priority at the moment. I am moving overseas in a year and a half, and need cashmonies so I can start my life there in a financially stable way. With that in mind, I have applied for sixty-two jobs since getting back on the 30th of January. That’s a fuckload of selection criteria, my friends. After considering making some sort of artwork with the twelve rejection letters I have thus far received, I have landed myself a job interview on Friday next week. I really really -really- want this job, like you wouldn’t believe. Ninety nine percent of my brain is filled with “I’m awesome! My brain has great things to offer and I am loyal and hardworking and freakin great. You’re gonna be so lucky to get meeee!”
It’s that other one percent that is the real problem. Let’s face it: society discriminates against the obese. The incident regarding Kevin Smith and Southwest Airlines’ shitty treatment has enlightened a lot of previously ignorant people to this fact. But it’s not enough. I don’t know when it will be enough. When fats are given the same treatment as anyone else, I suppose.
I’m just sick of magazines that are plastered with “Lose five kilograms in one week!” and fashion labels that consider size twelve a “plus size”. When society ingrains this kind of thinking in us from such an early age, how are we supposed to change it? I feel so demoralised sometimes when it’s assumed that fats don’t deserve to be treated decently. Because we “brought it upon ourselves.” Fuckers. I feel agitated when I see a fifty to one ratio of haters to understanding people. I don’t know how to stop this ignorant behaviour, especially when it’s been ingrained from such an early age in many people. It feels as though I am not doing enough. And I am often met with criticism for believing in Fat Acceptance, because “it’s just a way to justify being fat and lazy and eating like crap.” And I sometimes honestly don’t know how to come back at people who say such things. I can point them in the direction of studies, personal accounts, and numerous blogs around the net, but to them I’m always that fat lady with a sinister agenda to convert us all to being sloths. My bias as a fat woman takes away any credibility to them. My agenda to make children eat six cakes a day shines through.
I’m not a person with some sinister agenda, I promise. What I want (and deserve) is to not be judged, restricted or hurt simply because of the way I look. Basically, I just wanted to be treated like a human being. Because anything else is discrimination, and just fucking sucks. It’s like someone said, if a thin person had complained about airline seats then the seats would be called too small. If a fat person complains, it’s because they’re huge tubs-o-lard and need to eat less and lose weight. It’s fucking bullshit, people.
While I am at this rant, I’m sick of everyone’s definition of what a “Real Woman” is. What the fuck, man! Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and sometimes even genders. Real women have curves. Real women don’t have curves. Real women are skinny, fat, tall, short, have small boobs, big boobs, fat upper pubic areas, hairy toes, long necks, and bad posture. Or not! They can be anything. You see here’s the real thing; We are all different: AND THAT IS OKAY.
I’m a little nervous about this job interview, because I’m afraid someone will overlook how awesome I am for the job because they are judging me based on my appearance. I will be well put together, wearing my investment piece clothing (oh black suit on sale at Myer, how I love you.). But I still (justifiably) fear that people will consider me lazy, slovenly, and/or disgusting because of the way I look. And it happens to lots of fats. Every day. I know that logically I’ll be fine in the interview; the worst thing that could happen is that I don’t get the job, but I come out with more interview experience. But that irrational fear remains, somewhat.
How can we (as individuals, as groups, and as a FA community) work towards changing preconceived notions of fat people? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
Saturday, February 13th, 2010
Someone on my twitter feed posted the link to Jamie Oliver’s talk about how it’s important to for people to learn about foods they are cooking and eating, and to pass that on to any spawn they might have. I totally agree with this; it’s important to be informed and listen to what your body needs.
What stopped me from listening to the entire talk was the constant peppering of OBESITY IS SO BAD, OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE EARLY AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.
…. I become really really frustrated with this kind of talk. There is an obsession with weight in today’s society that is so distinctly BEYOND one’s health, and it’s so very ingrained that I don’t believe that most people realise they are even obsessed with it. It’s so easy to talk about the “obesity epidemic” but some people have talked about it with me as though I am not one of the chunky brigade. When i point out that “hey, I’m fat. And that’s okay!” there are wild flayings of “OH NO NOT YOU, YOU’RE NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.”
Who are these people you are talking about then? And more importantly, what gives a person the right to talk about someone else in such a way? What happened to compassion for others? Kindness towards anyone regardless of their appearance? Am i just missing a part of the human psyche that thinks it’s okay to blatantly hate on the way someone else looks? Perhaps as a fat girl (being on the other side of the judgement conundrum) I am just not looking at it from a lot of points of view. Then again i’ve known some pretty bitchy fats so I really don’t think that’s the case – horrible people come in all shapes and sizes too.
I don’t know. I just honestly wish that celebrities like Jamie Oliver would do a bit more research before blatantly hating on us fats. Why can’t we be educated about food without the whole shaming thing? Sometimes I wonder if Jamie Oliver plans to come out with some hideous sort of meal replacement plan, and that’s why he’s doing this. SIGH.
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
I can feel a rant coming on.
I have a love-hate relationship with the fashion industry. I love fashion, you see. Clothing, shoes, handbags, jewellery – I salivate just thinking about it. I grew up reading Vogue, watching trends emerge and then change just as rapidly. We have stacks of books at my place on the history of fashion. My mum and I watch old Hollywood musicals, just so we can talk about the clothing. Well, also to ogle Fred Astaire; he’s dreeeeamy. Fashion though? It’s something I have grown up with. The idea of wearing something beautifully crafted that enhances my (let’s face it) already pretty fabulous body makes me tingle with excitement. I even recently downloaded an Iphone application that lets me view shots from fashion shows around the world.
The fashion industry, as most people already know, are notorious for their unrealistic and often unhealthy body image ideals. Eating disorders, size-ism, drug addiction, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The fat-hatred bombards both ready-to-wear and couture lines, with nearly everything in higher-end stopping at or below size twelve Australian. Oh my god, the RAGE. Do you know how I feel? I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when those bitchy saleswomen wouldn’t let her shop. Her kind wasn’t welcome, despite having money to spend. Hey fashion designers? I HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, DAMMIT. WHY WONT YOU TAKE MY MONEY?!?! Granted, it’s not as much money as I would like, but what I do have, I plan on investing in fashion. Because it’s an investment in myself. Wearing something I love makes me feel UHMAZING, in so many different ways.
I have a stunning red dress that I spent a very pretty penny on last year, but was happy to do so because the garment looks fantastic on me. I call it “Magic Dress” because every time I wear it people smile at me, and luck always turns my way. Of course this has nothing to do with the dress itself; I know that. But when I wear something that fits me properly, something that feels as though it was made for me, my confidence skyrockets. Unfortunately even when I have the dosh, the pickings are slim here in Australia. (haha, slim.)
It appears to me fatties aren’t welcome in fashion. We are chunkier versions of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Our kind? Not welcome here. Particularly in Australia, it seems fat people aren’t seen as fashion forward or daring with their style choices. All our choices are to hide and cover up and “flatter” our bodies. Australian fashion’s definition of flatter is cover up, it seems. Maude forbid we be proud of our appearance. I mean, isn’t it society’s problem if they don’t like my jiggly bits? Why do I need to change myself?? Why can’t I wear what I want to wear?
Fat women are given potato sacks with asymmetrical everything and newspaper print polyester. Fat men are given Hawaiian shirts that are not only fug, but also terrible quality. If you like asymmetrical polyester hawaiian prints, then hey have at it. But that’s all there is. THAT IS ALL THERE IS FOR US. If we want to wear something different, our choices are to pay through the nose and have it custom made, or have it shipped from overseas (usually with high shipping prices, and the likelihood that the item may not even fit when it arrives.)
I know so many people who are fabulous and STYLISH fats, despite the severe lack of fashion choices. Each of these men and women have personalities as different as the bajillion designers out there. It is so frustrating to me (and I’m sure them) that there are comparatively few options for fats, given the number of us in the world. I mean, if the obesity epidemic (OOGA BOOGA) is increasing, why aren’t our fashion choices? Perhaps it’s because there isn’t an obesity epidemic – but i digress.
How do we fix this? Designers say that larger sizes aren’t catered to because it costs too much to produce, and/or that there aren’t enough sales within the area to financially justify production. I don’t know about you, but I buy clothing a LOT. And I’d be prepared to pay more and buy more if it’s good quality and well designed. There just hasn’t been anything out there that’s nice enough to buy. Believe me, I know, I look nearly every day. And sure I’d like low cost options TOO, but it shouldn’t be one or the other, you know? I feel cheated if I purchase accessories from somewhere like Guess or Chanel, when I know full well that plus size clothing at those stores aren’t available to me.
And is it a “Chicken or the Egg” scenario? Fats don’t purchase the fashion out there because the fashion out there is fug, and then businesses think there isn’t a market and thus stop producing it. How do we pass on the message that we’d purchase their clothing if they simply made larger versions of the straight sizes, instead of creating clothing especially for fats that mainly consist of tent-clothing. Can someone please get it into retailers and designers heads that fats have just as much style as straight size? I know the fat-o-sphere are amazing in terms of expressing their individual styles, but sometimes I want to shake the fashion industry and go “Hey! Fats are people too!” I’d ask whether or not straight size people would ever wear the options we are given. Why are fats relegated the realm of fugitude when everybody else gets to look all shiny and tailored?
We deserve the right to own clothing that makes us feel awesome. We deserve the right to own the different styles and makes that thinner people get to choose from. We deserve fashion rights, full stop.