Sunday, October 18th, 2009
Possibly triggering – some diet/weight-loss talk.
I don’t own scales.
I haven’t done so for a long time now. There were a pair in the laundry in the house I lived in in Japan, but they didn’t work properly. In my current house, there are some in the downstairs bathroom, but I live upstairs.
So I haven’t weighed myself, in, oh, at least six months. Because it triggers me. I slip back into self-loathing, disordered eating thoughts.
Last night I was at a friends house drinking cheap wine and watching silly movies. I went to the bathroom, and there’s a pair of scales.
And I stupidly weighed myself. I’ve gained approximately ten kilos since leaving Japan. And straightaway my mind went to “If you just go on that shake diet again, you’ll drop ten kilos in two months! Then you’ll be back to normal!” And somehow that thought seemed okay, because if I lost ten kilos, I’d still be deathfat.
Not gonna lie, the temptation was overwhelming.
I’m still learning how to be a size acceptance activist, and it’s constant struggle to fight against those ingrained thought patterns. Even as I type this, there’s a little voice in the back of my mind reminding how easy it was diet when I last worked in an office. And there’s an underlying fear that no matter how much I do or don’t diet, I’m just going to keep gaining weight.
I know, objectively, that diets don’t work. I went on my first diet at 79 kilograms just on ten years ago, and I now weigh 114 kilos. Throughout that time, I’ve dieted, restricted, binged, and purged.
It doesn’t work. I know this.
Every day is a struggle. So every day I read Notes From The Fatosphere, every day I read Fatshionista, and every day I try and surrond myself with people who love me for who I am, and who are as passionate about acceptance as I am.
Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
Seriously, that is the title of the op-ed piece that’s been spewed across the front page Australia’s biggest news website, news.com.au, and printed in the Herald Sun.
Now, I’m kind of pissed off, so this blog isn’t going to be all tra-la-la citing studies and the like.
It’s a visceral fucking reaction to the idea that fat people are empowered. Um, NO. In fact, I would go so far as to say EPIC NAH. Because we aren’t empowered. We’re fucking marginalised.
Let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?
First, some standard skinny-bashing:
Indeed, this month’s Fashion Week In Melbourne abandoned the usual stick insects for some models who were size 14-18
Can’t have thin women feeling good about themselves, nope.
Let’s be honest.
Oh, this ought to be good.
While these women might make us feel better about our bulging butts and guts, the truth is, few women over a size 14 are in a healthy weight range.
So feeling good about yourself is unhealthy? I’m just going to time out for a second here, and point out that your mental health is so important, and so often pushed aside in favour of the more visible physical health. Healthy self-esteem is incredibly good for you.
As for the horseshit about being over a size 14 and OMG OBESE, I shall direct you to Kate Harding’s BMI Project. See what underweight, normal, overweight and obese really look like. It might surprise you.
Most of the women on catwalks are freaks of nature and it is only right that the pendulum is swinging towards more achievable bodies.
So if you’re skinny, you’re a freak, but if you’re a size 14, you’re OMGOBESE?! Narrow standards of beauty indeed.
But there is a limit. I know it’s not fashionable to say this, but some of the women being embraced as positive role models and ambassadors for larger people are obese and should lose weight for health reasons.
Oh heehee, I know it’s not PC! UR SO EDGY BB.
Except, you’re not, because you’re espousing a view that is the norm. THE NORM.
And of course, it’s not because people are ew yuck gross fat. It’s just for their health. Of course. Because by looking at someone you totally can guess every aspect of all their health issues. Great! No more going to the doctor – just email them a photograph and they can diagnose you like that?
Also, hey, Susie O’Brien? You’re not an MD. SO SHUT UP. (Come on, if she was an MD, she’d have mentioned it. Just sayin’).
Okay I need to point something out here:
And, reflecting the expanding girth of many Australians, more and more retailers, such as Myer, Sportsgirl and even Ed Hardy, are jumping on the bandwagon, and offering larger sizes.
Sportsgirl goes to a SIZE SIXTEEN. That’s one size above the national average, and is considered a missy size. And last time I was in a Sportsgirl (admittedly a long time ago, because it’s overpriced Supre-esque cack, in my humble opinion), the size sixteens are not generous. At all.
Yes, larger teens deserve to be able to wear fashionable clothes, like everyone else. But the discourse of self-empowerment surrounding the move is stopping us asking why so many young people are size 16 or more in the first place.
No, it’s not. Fat teens can wear fat clothes while you pontificate about losing weight. It’s not an either/or situation, people.
And this is nearly making me cry: a discourse of self-empowerment.
Why, why, why do people want others to feel bad about themselves? How is it productive? How is it helpful? Whether it’s being fat, skinny, or any other trope, why is being different so offensive?
Sure, such moves reflect the reality of a rapidly growing population, but they also serve to normalise a size that is not healthy for most young people.
And back to the diagnosing entire swathes of people based on how they look.
Ooh, cognitive dissonance time:
In recent weeks the debate has been spurred on by the larger thighs and flabby tummy of 20-year-old model Lizzie Miller in Glamour magazine in the US.
Readers in the millions embraced the image of the gorgeous, naked young woman letting it all hang out for the cameras. But at 180cm and 76kg, she’s hardly plus-sized.
Okay, so she’s got large thighs, and heaven forbid, a flabby tummy.
But suddenly she’s not plus-sized? WELL GEE, WHO’D HAVE THOUGHT. Whose side are you on, anyway, Susie?
Losing weight is hard work. It takes sacrifice and effort. As a mother of three in my late 30s with a new gym membership, I know this first-hand.
The tiniest violin in the world, bb. And maybe an *emotear*. Seriously, you have post-pregnancy weight? Maybe it’s just because you gestated three new human beings inside you. That’s pretty awesome, and tends to change your body shape. Yeah. And as for sacrifice – well, yeah, if you mean sacrificing your mental health, probably your physical health once you gain it back (because why would we have a diet industry if we could all lose weight and keep it off?), and hell, any interesting kind of food. I don’t know about the rest of you, but food’s pretty awesome.
It’s much easier to accept the pro-fat manifesto than hit the treadmill.
Just, no. If it was easier to be pro-fat, we’d have taken over by now.
Let’s face it, Australians – like Americans – do not need any encouragement or permission from role models in the media to put on weight.
Thanks for fighting the good fight against positivity and healthy self-esteem in the media, Susie! Fortunately for you, size-acceptance is still a significant minority in terms of media coverage, so not to worry there. A nice underhanded anti-American slight too – very smooth.
Alarmingly, a new Australian study of more than 30,000 people shows obese and morbidly obese men are less depressed and less suicidal than those of a normal weight.
You know why Susie? You really want to know why? C’mere, I’ll tell you a secret.
FAT PEOPLE EAT. People who don’t eat or diet tend to (anecdotally, this is my experience) feel like absolute shit because they are hungry all the fucking time. It messes with you.
But it’s time to get real – fat people may be happier but they’re also digging their graves with a fork, and we’re all paying for it.
Well, you should be happier that we’re killing ourselves! Because then you’ll get to stop paying for us! (As stupid as that concept is, because we have semi-socialised healthcare here).
And we get to the crux of the article. Underneath all the ‘but it’s for your health’ hand-waving, Susie O’Brien just thinks fat people cost too much. And are ugly.
Look, if you don’t want to give us nice clothes to wear, that’s fine. Just get us a clause to go around naked.
Source: News.com.au (careful of the comments, they tend to represent the lowest common denominator.)